How to attract people towards you using NLP?

  • Body Language: Are they standing, sitting, slouching? Match their expressions, gestures or gesticulations without making it too obvious. The intention is to be subtle and natural so that it makes them comfortable and relate to you and not to mimic; otherwise, it will backfire you.
  • Breathing Pattern: what’s their breathing like? Fast or slow? Deep or shallow? Breathing is the single most important component of physiology to work with when matching and mirroring because it is unconscious in the other person and the easiest to notice. This is a very subtle, persuasive technique for getting the two of you on the same wavelength.
  • Voice: Watch out for tone, rate, volume etc. voice matching is most effective when done indirectly. Subtle adjustments in your normal voice so that it is more like the person in question, but still essential ‘you’ is all that is required. Your ‘mirrored’ voice should never be radically different from your own. To significantly alter, your voice is distracting and off-putting. Don’t outright copy tonality.
  • Visual — A person who thinks visually processes information quickly, uses descriptive language frequently and performs a lot of hand gestures. You will find them using words such as see, look, view, foggy, clear, bright, reveal, focused, short-sighted, paint a picture, an eyeful, picture this, hazy, etc.
  • Auditory — They are more rhythmic and does things in patterns. They’re usually good at repeating things back to you and say things like, “We worked together in harmony,” which is an auditory phrase. They might use terms and phrases such as sound, hear, tell, listen, resonate, clear as a bell, loud-and-clear, tune in/out, on another note, give me your ear, etc.
  • Kinesthetic — They take their time speaking and respond better to touch and physical rewards. Someone who is kinesthetic might say something like, “I have a problem weighing on me heavily,” indicating that they physically feel their problem.
  • Taking a step backwards to see if they take a step forward
  • Crossing or uncrossing your legs
  • Picking up your glass and taking a sip



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Mohammed Rafi

Mohammed Rafi

has been a catalyst in bringing positive outcomes in the lives of more than 125,000 people through nlp training programs. Visit: