RESILIENCE — THE ART OF BOUNCING BACK

  1. HAVE A GOAL OR PURPOSE IN LIFE — It is vital to have a goal in life or to live for a purpose. Know your destination and you can create your own map to get there. You could be Captain Jack Sparrow with a map or use our very own Google Maps. Your choice. But have a destination to get to in your life. Also, visualize where you want to be when you bounce back up — become the bouncing ball. Everytime you start losing track of why you need to bounce back, close your eyes and visualize where you wish to land on when you bounce back. Imagine you are the bouncing ball. Would you want to bounce higher and land on your goals or would you want to keep dribbling at the same level
  2. BE ADAMANT — Yes! You heard that right! Being adamant is not a bad thing if you want to bounce back in your life and move forward. Be downright adamant about wanting to move forward and rebuilding your life. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to take a break or give up because it was fate what happened to you. Be adamant and believe in your power to change the course of your destiny. Be adamant in wanting to move forward and not looking back at what nearly destroyed you. It’s not just important to be adamant about moving forward but it is equally important to take action to move forward in life. Do things that can help you heal in the process of moving forward. Remember, it is a flowing river that carries fresh water. Stagnation leads to contamination. Be like a flowing river. Meander where you need to. Slow down if you have to. Cut through mountains and gorges if you need to and burst open like a waterfall if you want to. But keep flowing. It is absolutely alright if all you want to do is either run, walk or crawl in life but keep moving forward.
  3. MODEL PEOPLE WHO EXHIBIT RESILIENCE — It could be anyone in your life. It could be a celebrity or your coach or any random person who has bounced right back up from their pain and sufferings. Model that one trait of resilience in them if not everything. You will find models in nature as well. A spider building its web even after it has been destroyed. A cactus with a bright pink flower in the middle of nowhere! A crow trying to build its nest even when the twigs fall off. If you look closely enough, you will find many models of excellence in resilience in people and in nature. Let their stories inspire you to bounce back.
  4. DETOX YOUR LIFE — Not just your body but all of your life. Start by getting rid of those pesky little rodents who try to gnaw off of your energy and eat you alive. Get rid of those energy vampires disguised as your friends or family members, who try to suck out every ounce of your willingness to move forward. It may be difficult but it is not impossible. And by doing so you are not being selfish or self-centered but you are just protecting and preserving whatever ray of hope is left within you. It’s not really a loss if you lose people who have been pulling you down.
  5. DETOX YOUR MIND — Rid your mind of the little impish version of yours trying to tell you that you don’t need to bounce back up. Flush negative thoughts the moment they knock on the doors of your mind. Have strict security measures and allow only positive, energizing and motivating thoughts to get in. Past memories, although good and sweet, but holding you back from bouncing up is equally dangerous. Close your eyes, think of the memory, feel the ache in your heart and then snap your fingers like Thanos in Infinity War. Imagine it sublimating or disintegrating away into nothingness. You will observe that the ache will start fading away too. This is something that I devised when I had no other option but to rid my mind of excruciatingly painful yet good memories that were not allowing me to move forward in life. And it worked wonders for me! I proudly call it the Snap Sublimation Technique. Okay so I am not that great with naming things. Let’s not get judgemental there. Let’s just move on! Read how to Overcome Stress and Negativity, and Become more efficient
  6. REBUILD YOUR INNER CIRCLE — With the people who boost your energy and spirits, and rejoice, applaud loudly and cheer you on as you move forward. Build your inner circle with such people who you can rely on, and who can also slap you hard across your face and urge you to correct yourself when you screw up. When I went uphill for a trek in Munnar during my Beyond Mastery days, I fell multiple times on boulders that could have cracked my bones and rendered me motionless. But I was so adamant on moving forward to climb up tricky pathways to seek my waterfall of joy. Joseph Sir, the Indian Bruce Lee, held my hand firmly and led me on and cheered me to keep moving forward and did not stop until he let me rest and meditate under it as the waterfall blessed and cooled my scalp. If going uphill was a challenge, coming down was even more challenging. When people around me were afraid I might roll downhill like a huge, unstoppable pumpkin, Joseph Sir, handed me one half of a wild jackfruit and told me to hold it in my palm and not drop it. The moment he placed it on my palm, I shrieked in pain and dropped it as one of the thorns of the outer skin of the fruit had pierced me. He laughed and picked it up and again placed the thorny side on my palm again and told me to believe I could hold it. I did. Not only did I hold it but I climbed all the way down balancing it on one hand and not falling even once. He made me believe in myself even when I could not. Make such pristine connections and cherish them. Nurture such bonds because, trust me, these are the people who will thrust you forward when you feel your resilience is fading away.
  7. RECONSTRUCT YOUR MIND — By laying strong layers of foundation of self-motivation. Believe and have faith in yourself because if you don’t then no one else can do it for you! Become aware of your emotions and feelings. Don’t try to suppress them. Instead acknowledge them and communicate with them to understand why they arose in the first place. Understand what needs to change to handle your emotions better. Start your day by erecting affirmative pillars of what you want your life to look like. Tell yourself with congruence that this is exactly how your life will be and you want it to be. Command your RAS to look and move forward no matter what and to be happy and at peace all the while.
  8. FIND HUMOR EVEN IN CHAOS — Humor has helped me enormously in my path of moving forward. It makes even the scariest monster seem manageable. Allow yourself to laugh at your own mistakes and find the silver lining in it. When I kept falling on those boulders in Munnar, not once did i panic or lose hope. I kept laughing at myself for being so clumsy and also for being so proud for having kept my record of not having a single fracture till date. Learn to laugh even for the silliest reason, like no one’s watching and in that process, it is absolutely okay even if you fart! Fart is good to get rid of toxic gases from the body so if laughter helps with that, then why not?
  9. QUIT BEING A PERFECTIONIST — I used to be a pain in the wrong place even for myself because of my obsession with having to be perfect at whatever I did. Little did I know that this was the very same thing that was hindering my progress and stopping me from moving forward in life. Rafi made me realize that it was absolutely okay to fail when you tried to bounce back up. Failure is just feedback and learning in his words. If when you bounced back you did not land where you intended to. No Problemo! Be patient with yourself. Assess and evaluate what could have been done better and allow yourself to work on it again. Keep bouncing back till you finally land where you wanted to. Quit being a perfectionist at trying to be resilient. There will be many occasions where you would not feel the strength to bounce back up or you would feel miserable about having to face what you have faced. But that’s okay. It’s a part of the healing process. Sleep it off or just rest yourself. But the next day start your practice of bouncing back no matter what. It can be ugly and messy because healing is not perfect. It is an art in itself. There is no such thing as perfect art. Art does not seek perfection. Art seeks practice, perseverance and patience. And resilience, my dear friends, is an art.
  10. LOVE THY SELF — Remember to shower yourself with love. Write love letters to yourself. I keep a little black book, which is literally black in color and I am not kidding! I write in it almost every day as though it were a collection of love letters from me to me. Court yourself everytime you catch your reflection in the mirror. Admire yourself and compliment yourself for having gotten this far in life. Appreciate the beauty lines on your face which are the trophies of your challenges. Celebrate your failures too the way you would do for your successes. Celebration according to me is great, soul-satiating food and I have it every time I succeed or fail. I enjoy the process and the journey ahead rather than focusing on counting the number of wounds I have gotten. Give yourself a powerful metaphor for how you see yourself. Keep your mind and body — healthy, fit and active. Do what gives you joy as long as you are not harming anyone in the process. Allot an hour in your day for yourself for the same. Hug yourself and pat yourself on the shoulder when you achieve a milestone in your journey of moving forward. Connect with your soul and communicate with yourself. With who you really are. I use good food and music to do that. And spread love to yourself and to everyone around. Love is free, limitless and unconditional.

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Mohammed Rafi

Mohammed Rafi

has been a catalyst in bringing positive outcomes in the lives of more than 125,000 people through nlp training programs. Visit: https://nlptrainingworld.com/